It’s never a good thing for dads to have favourites,
Always much healthier, certainly safer it’s
Better advised to not even in jest
Say “That one, yes, that one, I like them the best!”
Not between daughters and not between sons
They all want to think that they’re dad’s number ones.
And please mark my words, on a serious note.
DO NOT give your fave kid a colourful coat.
Do not say “Oh Joseph, it makes you look splendid!
And see how it moves when your arms are extended.
It fits you so well and the whole world can see
That you matter much more than the rest do to me!”

And not when your eldest lads only wear thin rags.
One sports a sack and the young ones wear bin bags.
It isn’t conducive to family harmony
Brings about discord and fairly alarmingly
Breeds thoughts of jealousy, anger and worse
And things that I just couldn’t mention in verse.

Of course it’s not helped when the star kid has dreams.
His life, like his coat, came apart at the seams.

The visions he told them about over dinner
Interpreting them as he did? Not a winner.
Of how it meant they would all serve him one day.
They just didn’t think it the right thing to say.

“It’s not that I’m saying I’ll rule you forever.
I’ll simply have more than you all put together!
So don’t be all stroppy and get in a tizz.
I’ve just got to tell it the way that it is.”

The talk of the dreams seemed to them to be dribblings
Of ego crazed nonsense, which angered his siblings.

One of them (possibly Levi or Gad)
Suggested a plan bound to disappoint dad.
To grab little Joseph whilst far from the farm
And leave him for dead and not raise the alarm.
Sounds pretty brutal. Unkind and unloverly.
Pretty unspeakable, not very brotherly.
One for all, all for one, everyone voted
No one abstained, (Reuben’s absence was noted.)

Next day out Dothan way Joseph was nabbed.
Thrown in a pit and his cool coat was grabbed.
Rubbed in some goat blood then home to old Jacob
To pass on a story that Simeon would make up
About wild lions and Joseph and fighting
And roaring and mauling and plenty of biting.

“Young Jo’s met his maker, but although it’s sad news
We rescued his coat so it’s not all been bad news!”
Hardly surprising that Jacob was grieved.
He should have known that they should not be believed.

In fact, Joseph’s brothers had been more than willing
To sell the young dreamer and thus make a killing.
Some slavers had passed and they thought nothing of it
To trade him for silver and make a small profit.
Shekels for shackles and then they proceeded
To head off to Egypt where young slaves were needed.

Joseph was told that his chances were fraught here.
Thought he’d be bought by some sort of a courtier
Ended up Potiphar’s slave as of right.
And taken off home to begin his new life.

Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance
And Potiphar’s wife planned some lewd interference
She kept on and on at him: Joseph resisted
He said please don’t go get your knickers so twisted!
She made lots of comments – he knew what the lass meant
“Just leave me alone this is workplace harassment!
Potiphar likes me, I’ve earned his deep trust.
I’ll not blow it now on a moment of lust.”
She sneaked up behind him and pinched his behind
“I’ll stay over here, lady, if you don’t mind!”
He then fled the room and she made up a tale
That made Potiphar throw the poor lad in jail.

While there he interpreted dreams for two prisoners
Always potentially quite a tough bus-i-ness.
Jo got to tell one he’d soon be set free!
The other would sadly end unhappily.
The freed con was one of the Pharaoh’s main aides
And told Jo his kindness would soon be repaid.
“I’ll never forget you” he said through his tears.
And promptly did nothing for over two years.

He only remembered when Pharaoh was saying
He kept having dreams that were frankly dismaying.
And none could decode it, no nobody knew it
“Urr, there is a lag who I reckon could do it!”
So Joseph was brought before Pharaoh, knees knocking
Watching intently, the “wise men” stood, mocking.

Pharaoh took centre stage, as pharoahs might
And told of the things that confused him at night.
“Seven fat cows were just happily grazing
Skinny cows scoffed them and what is amazing
The skinny cows, having had massive beef dinner
Put on no weight, were if anything, thinner!
Same with some corn as the thin ate the fat,
And stayed thin and weedy – why would it do that?”

Joseph said “fear not, it’s not so odd.
It’s quite understandable. It means that God
Will send 7 great years when your crops reach huge size.
And then 7 more in which everything dies.
It’s feast and then famine, so build massive stores
Then when the world needs grub, you sell some of yours.”

“By jingo!” said Pharaoh, beset by emotion
“You’ve earned yourself the world’s most massive promotion.
You’re now number two, you’ll have treasures so fine
And your own massive palace just smaller than mine.”

So it all turned out fab – you just never can tell.
As an illegal immigrant Jo did quite well.
His brothers came knocking when hard times came calling
And Joseph forgave them for acting appalling.

So all’s well that ends well and Jo understood:
The thing that they meant for bad, God meant for good.