God told Jonah to be a decent lad,
Go down to Nineveh and tell them they’ve been bad.
Jonah thought about the plan and whether to obey.
He shouted “God, look over there!” And ran the other way.

He sprinted down to Joppa and he jumped onto a ferry.
The captain asked: “You going far?” And Jonah answered: “Very!”
His passage paid, the anchor weighed, the shipshape ship set sail
And all was well until night fell and then they hit a gale.

Never in his sea-borne days had cap’n seen such waves
The sailors feared their ends were neared and they’d have watery graves.
They cast some lots to see what’s what and out came Jonah’s name
They figured that was proof enough to know who they should blame.
“It’s all your fault you silly dolt, so what is to be done?”
And Jonah said: “I think it’s God: he’s peeved I’m on the run.”
“Peeved!?? This doesn’t look like peeved. This looks like all out fury!”
And Jonah found himself before an angry sailor jury.
“So how on earth, or how on sea are we to calm The Lord?”
And Jonah said, “It’s on my head – so chuck me overboard.”

Now desperate men do desperate things and though it made them sick,
They picked him up and threw him in in case that did the trick.
The storm stopped dead as Jonah headed down towards the sea
And as he couldn’t swim he thought: “Well, that’s the end of me.”

But God, (as God is wont to do) had mercy on the sinner
And sent a great humongous fish to swallow him for dinner.

Jonah, moaner, soaked and choked and smelly,
Covered in, smothered in, stuff inside the belly.
Felt round, on the ground, didn’t have much light,
Fishy fingers, leechy clingers. Kept his mouth shut tight!

Whilst there, turned to prayer. Made a full repentance.
Fish spat Jonah out once he’d served his sentence.

Then he went to Nineveh and stayed for 40 days
And told them they were fish food if they didn’t mend their ways.

We don’t know just what happened next, the bible doesn’t say
Maybe that’s because young Jonah wandered off away.
Looking for a place to go to tell his wondrous tales.
Got advised “Go anywhere, just stay away from Wales!”