Young Adam was lonely which didn’t feel great.
The animals all had at least one close mate.
Even the walrus and bearded gnu
The fat ones, the thin ones all had a mate too.
But Adam had no one and felt quite put out
Watching the loved-up beasts wander about.

God knew it was time to complete his creation
And unveiled Eve and said “Go start a nation.
Meet up with Adam, he’s down by the lake.
He’s having a party.
Pssst. Don’t trust the snake.”

Adam was hosting a bring and share brunch
Which overran into a barbecue lunch.
When in walked a stranger. He couldn’t believe it
He mumbled “Who’s that? I don’t Adam and Eve it!
It looks a bit like me, but totally hot!
Has most things that I have but some that I’ve not.
Has God made a Mk II with littler feet?
A curvier chassis?
Am I obsolete?”

“Hello” Adam said as if all were quite normal,
“We don’t dress for dinner, it’s fairly informal.
I hope that you’ll join me.” And Eve said: “OK,
I’ve got nothing on
in fact I’m free all day.”

Adam was really quite keen to impress
And looked for the choicest of meat for his guest.
He peered through the smoke at the food on the grill
The chicken was ruined, the burgers worse still.
“I want her to think I’m the barbecue master.
I can’t offer that – it’s a flippin’ disaster

It’s all burned and charred and what’s not charred’s cremated:
She’ll not want to eat it – she’ll probably hate it.”

Then he remembered the thing he’d held back on
“That’s it – it’s untouched; I’ll cook that to snack on.”
He looked on the table and then on the ground
But search high and low it was not to be found.
Looked under the barbecue, got cross and kicked it.

“My spare rib – it’s vanished – Oi, who’s gone and nicked it?”